Unstable

How do I explain to anyone how dump messed up I am ? That sometimes, words, mere words leave me impulsive, screwing my whole day I've worked so hard to play straight? It's just too hard to make anyone believe about what you're suffering, if it's just a mental disorder, an illusion. But what could I do? I'm trying to shake it off, I'm telling you. It's obstructive, it's delusional, it feels so powerful it'll leave you powerless, stripping you off of everything. Yeah, they might just be words, but haven't I told you that I'm still unstable and you should at least be cautious and wide conscious about what you say in front of me? That one sentence, one word can send me into an endless paranoia subway.